Adams House has better sex. At least, that’s what many Adams residents will tell you. And the buildings they’re doing it in ain’t half bad either. But Adams has much more to offer its residents than beauty and sex appeal. Freshmen may simply know it as the House that’s convenient to eat in if they want to escape from Annenberg, but once they receive a cigar and a long-stemmed rose on Housing Day—a long-standing tradition—they quickly come to learn that Adams is special for many more reasons. From the very involved House Masters, the “crown jewels” of Adams House according to Santiago Pardo ’16, to the plethora of unique House events, the Gold Coast certainly seems pretty ideal.

While n-housing isn’t always available for sophomores and n+1 isn’t for juniors, Adamsians will tell you that the quality of the housing makes up for the lack of singles. Rooms are decently-sized, and by the time senior year rolls around there’s a good chance you’ll be living in n+1 luxury with quad rooms “bigger than any apartment I will live in,” according to HoCo Publicity Chair Sarah E. Coughlon ’15. The only downside is that even once you’re granted that coveted single, you might still be sharing your bedroom with a few furry friends.

Many sophomores populate Claverly Hall, where they enjoy a social hallway set-up. Claverly’s tower rooms are reportedly wonderful (though these mainly go to juniors and seniors), and the dorm is full of character, featuring fireplaces, wooden accents, and a poem painted in the elevator. The rest of Adams’ buildings (Westmorly Court, Randolph Hall, and Russell Hall) are connected by an extensive system of underground tunnels, which are covered with murals painted by former Adams residents, ranging from an ode to oranges to celebrations of Radcliffe women. Built in the college’s Gold Coast era of ruby door handles, these buildings all still emanate the aura of old-Harvard luxury.

Seniors have the option of lotterying for the separate three story Adams Senior House, which is arguably the best party space that the House has. Everyone wants to be in it—seniors, may the odds be ever in your favor.

To state the obvious, Adams is prime real estate. Waking up more than ten minutes before their class isn’t a concern for Adams residents. And although the House’s architecture is not all traditionally Neo-Georgian, the golden walls and Byzantine ceiling in Russell Hall have an opulent charm all of their own.

Repeatedly referred to as the grandparents everyone wishes they had, House Masters Sean and Judith S. “Judy” Palfrey ’67 are certainly beloved by Adams residents. “There exist no other House masters who care more or play such an integral role within the House,” claims Pardo. Both make an effort to learn every resident’s name, and actively participate in House life. That limber guy you see crowd surfing on Housing Day? Probably Sean Palfrey.

The Masters’ residence, the historic Apthorp House, is open to students every Sunday evening between Thanksgiving and Spring Break as a place to study, eat freshly baked goods, drink hot cocoa prepared by the house ‘elves’, and listen to life seminars organized by the Palfreys.

Many students pointed to weekly Carpe Noctems as a highlight of their House experience. “Who doesn’t love free pizza and beer on a Thursday?” asked Grant A. Sprow ’16.

The House is rich with tradition, something its residents take a lot of pride in. From Drag Night, French Farces, black tie readings of Winnie the Pooh, caroling in Apthorp house and the FDR suite, and its extravagant Winter Feast, it’s a wonder Adams residents have time or inclination to leave.

House formals deserve a special mention. Rather than opting to throw their formals in Boston, Adams formals are always held in-house, something that frustrates some residents but delights others. HoCo goes all out to transform the main building into something out of your wildest dreams. In recent years, the dining hall has housed a giant pirate ship, the Taj Mahal, and has been transformed with floating lights into Hogwarts’ Great Hall.

When they’re not busy with House events, Adams residents can enjoy some of the in-house amenities, which include the infamous Adams Pool Theater and the Bow & Arrow Press. Both are open to all Harvard students, but the bragging rights that come with having them attached to your home is certainly a plus.

Adams residents seem to have very little to complain about, although many are united in one frustration. The convenience that will have you rolling out of bed at 10 for your 10:07 class and running back to your house to grab lunch also has it downsides. Not only will you and your fellow Adams residents be heading back there for a quick bite, everyone and their linkmate will be there too, meaning the dining hall is crowded all. The. Freaking. Time.

You can probably guess the other complaint about Adams House. Gold Coast? Cigars on Housing Day? And what the hell is “Carpe”—you too good to Stein, bro? Adams House has a lot of a lot great qualities, and they know it. And they’ll make sure you know it too. If there ever was a House that tries too hard, it’s this one.

But who’s complaining? Not Adamsians.